The Lure

It's Thursday night. Thursday night is our one real night off, the time when we drink too much and tell each other about how it used to be when we were "In". This guy that I work with used to do the job that I wanted to do, the job that I signed up for. This may seem obscure to some, but for those of you who know, just consider my past profession and you'll get the idea. Tonight he told us, "Yeah, if you want to do it I could make it happen." This is a dangerous temptation for me. We come from a field where the options are limited, and the job we all wanted to do is done by members of others services, more elite groups than our own. It is neither a question of training, nor ability, it is a simple question of opportunity. We, who spent long years in the Corps, working harder than our peers to acheive a modicum of respect, we desired above all else to be this unique thing. "Operators" is one word for it. Now, we have left this concept behind, understanding that it will never be realised for us. I left this idea behind, because I knew that it would not happen. Now I have met someone who went down the path that I wanted to take. I would not take it now, there are other things which make the decision too complicated. But part of me will always wish that I had become that thing, the pinacle of our profession. Part of me will always know that I could have been, but chose not to be. In the final analysis, some sacrifices are not worth making. This is mostly directed to my family, who can be thankfull that I did not chose the path I could have taken. In the end it was a simple choice.